Fat experiences

Is this some long distance feeder simply shuttling you money or a legit partner that you spend real face-to-face time daily bonding with and sharing life together??

In some ways every fetish has an element of selfishness - if the stimulation isn't there, then eventually the person will lose interest.
When my little butterball stays as he is I don't lose interest in him, but we have a full relationship. While it can be selfish in a sense, I know he is happy and fulfilled, but I think as with anything that's required to give one a high, if the stimulation ends...eventually a need isn't being filled.

I have a pretty cynical view of the long distance feeder "relationships" that currently comprise the lion's share of the online connections made in the community. The true real life, committed partnership seems to be far and few between when girls say they have a feeder "relationship"...

That said, I absolutely do go in waves of interest as a feeder. Sometimes I just like to relish how heavy my wife currently is - I'm not trying to get her to be some 500lb cow. Other times it's because she's in a feedee wave where she's dictating the eating out and constantly stuffing herself wherein I can finally sit back and watch her go.

But there's always an inherited selfishness about it. It's almost always the selfishness that renews my passion to get her pushed past a plateau. Usually it's when her clothes are crazy tight and she doesn't want to buy new ones. She'll make it clear that she temporarily doesn't want to gain any more weight. It's moments like these where I feel selfish and go into pamper mode to see her easily cave and put on another 10lbs to get her moving up in pants.

As every good feeder knows "new pants = new gains"!

I think it depends on the feeder. Some need to keep feeding at all times, and when the feedee stops gaining, it is time for the feeder to find the next feedee. Sadly, I know of a woman who gained to over 600 pounds, wanted to stop. Her feeder dumped her, and she was unable to take care of herself. She decided to have weight loss surgery, and died from it.

Other feeders can be happy to fatten a feedee to a certain point and then enjoy the results when the feedee stops.

I love my wife, who is is, before anything else about her. Which is also why at times I feel conflicted about encouraging her to gain weight, and feel happy and "relieved" of responsibility when she is doing the gaining through her own lack of discipline.

To me my fetish is a game, up to a certain point. I love the gaining aspect even before the actual weight. If she would stop today and go on a diet, I would still love her, never even think about leaving her. But the moment she would cave and ask for some chips, I would get her a bag, with some ice cream to follow, and a nice big dessert to top it off.

Yes, there is a tension between being selfish and love, between fetish and accepting the other as they are. That she isn't fully on board all the time (24/7/365) that she is getting fat(ter) is part of the fun, for me.

Here's the thing, ALL relationships are selfish. Yes, all of them. If you are getting zero value from a relationship, you will probably lose interest and leave. (Unless you are convinced they're the best you can do).

As an example, you could be dating a guy who looked attractive to you, had ambition, confidence, a good career, and everything going for him. Then one day he loses his job, falls into a depression, lets himself go and stops trying in life. I'm guessing you would lose any attraction you had to him, and would consider moving on if he didn't turn his life back around.

So the real question is, are feeders only interested in sexuality to the exclusion of all else? Well, some are and some aren't. Just like the general population.

Some people want to have relationships that are only physical. Of course if the sex stops being good, then there's nothing left keeping them together, and they'd both be happy to move on to the next casual relationship. As long as they're both honest about what they want, there's nothing wrong with that. Same thing with some feeders. (And no, I don't think most feeders are dishonest about their intentions.)

Some people want to settle down and spend the rest of their life with someone they love and raise a family together. If the sex were to end, it might not be as big a deal, because they would still love each other and have the life they built together.

It's no different for feeders. Just as I've heard stories of feeders taking off once the gaining stopped, I've also heard stories of feeders who were supportive of the weight loss because they wanted to be a dad more than they wanted to be sexually satisfied.

That being said, fulfilling sex is kinda important for every relationship. Nobody wants to live their life with sexual frustration. For some feeders, hearing "I want to lose weight" is the equivalent of saying "We should both try chastity together".

Relationships are transactional by their nature, even the vanilla kind. The price you pay is the time and effort it takes to emotionally support and be devoted to your partner. The reward you receive is the feeling of being in love with someone who loves you back, a life companion, and the support of someone who wants you to be happy. If you were not receiving any of these rewards, would you continue to pay the same price?

I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Of course if you stop scratching my back, then I'll have to go elsewhere because I still need back scratches. Nothing is being forced, and the contract is unspoken.

I'm literally talking about the same thing you are, I'm just phrasing it in a different way so that OP can see that there is NO difference between feeders and anyone else. A relationship based on feeding is not any more selfish or deceitful than normal vanilla dating.

OK, now I can see that you just aren't reading my posts. I explicitly said in the very post you quoted above that it isn't forced. I have no idea where you got this idea about treating people like animals, but I'd appreciate if you would stop trying to twist my words into some kind of gotcha moment. It's not a good look on you.

That's ok dude, nobody said we have to agree on anything. But you understand that when you mischaracterize my intent, even if unintentionally, I need to clarify so that others can understand my position.